It’s been a healthy debate. And it’s nice that the Prez is giving Congress a chance to do whatever it thinks it does. But it’s probably time to fish or cut Power Bait over military action in Syria.
Mr. Wrap, always eager to get to the win-win, has the simple solution.
Given the apparent consensus that A) America must be the world’s moral traffic cop and B) Syria has committed a serious moral infraction obviously deserving of punishment, it’s clear that Nation A should, indeed, send a stern message by placing a hefty ticket on Nation B’s windshield.
And then we can all get back to the nation’s core mission: inflating stock values.
More situational ethics:
Apologies in Advance: If this column seems unorganized, it’s only because Mr. Wrap was keeping all his notes on his Nokia smartphone, which has mysteriously displayed nothing but a solid blue screen since early last week.
Speaking of Eternal Damnation: Reasonable voices were heard from both sides, but surely there is a special place in Hades — or at least in the Deep South — for House charlatans who chose the occasion of debate over military action in Syria to bleat on about Benghazi and Obamacare.
Press “1” To Leave an Expletive-Laden Message: Parents of Seattle school kids, trying to straighten out first-day computer SNAFUs that made their kids disappear from school rolls or bollixed up their class schedules, got infuriating phone recordings lamenting “extremely high call volumes.” It’s only going to fan persistent rumors that the school system is being run by Comcast.
Take a Number, Ladies: Stand-someone-else’s-ground hero George Zimmerman is being dumped by his wife and will soon be back on the market. You can check out his profile soon on eVigilante.com.
Smattering-of-Applause Tweet of the Week: “Our bridge deck areas in poor condition dropped from 4.1 to 3.9 mil square feet since June 2012” – @WSDOT, Washington Department of Transportation.
Endless Ging-Rich Material: So wonderful to see that former news network CNN, responding to consumer demand from a grand total of nobody, is bringing back its paper-deep “Crossfire” show, justifiably ridiculed right out of existence by Jon Stewart a couple years ago.
Seriously, Though: That show should fill the nation’s clear need for more ill-informed ideologues exchanging talking points across a Lucite table on cable TV.
The Week’s Rare Campaign-Trail Self-Awareness Award: “Takes one to know one, Jackass.” – New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner.
Valuable Parenting Tip: If you’re an otherwise-functional adult who can’t resist the urge to dress up in wigs, team colors and other paraphernalia for football games, make sure you’re disguised sufficiently to hide your identity and not subject your teenage children to scarring humiliation.
Another Toke Over the Line: Up to 334 marijuana stores have been approved by the state Ganja / Liquor Control Board. We can only hope someone’s gearing up for the looming refugee crisis as thousands of shady, friend-of-a-friend entrepreneurial dealers are forced to flee over the borders into Idaho, Oregon and B.C.
And Finally: The return of football is a welcome respite. Mr. Wrap is going out on a limb in Week One and picking the Broncos big over Baltimore.
Ron Judd’s column appears each Sunday. Reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org or 206-464-8280. Twitter: @roncjudd.
About The Wrap / Ron Judd
"The Wrap" appears on Sundays, highlighting the absurd and providing the punch line to the week's news headlines.